Friday, June 21, 2013

Naptime: Fun for...everyone?

So, not surprisingly, we have struggled with sleep since the beebs were born. To be more precise, we've obsessed over it. We've coveted it. For them and for ourselves. We've looked forward to what little sleep we might get out of a session, while simultaneously dreading the very thought of beginning the "process." I've pondered and researched the subject so thoroughly, facts and statistics seep out of my pores. Or...something like that. 

Anyway, I think it can be safely said that all new parents obsess to a point about sleep and whether their baby is getting enough (sadly, that obsession doesn't extend to themselves because, well, sleep? WHAT'S THAT?). And, as one might imagine, twins only slightly ups the ante. Getting one baby to sleep and doing everything you can to keep him or her that way can be a challenge like literally no other. Doing it with two is just a joke--and not a funny one either. 

The Barbarian and I are a bizarre mix of tastes, attributes, and beliefs, but we lean pretty "crunchy" when it comes to a lot of things, parenting included. Breastfeeding was a no-brainer for us, even though we were having twins and, tragically, the vast majority of people have been led to believe that exclusively breastfeeding twins is a completely unattainable goal. Well, I am here to set the record straight: That's a load of crap. 

Being that the beebs are breastfed, they almost always nurse to go to sleep. Why? Because it's easy, effective, and the way the system is designed. The Barbarian, though, having a ridiculously strong maternal instinct (have I mentioned he's half girl? Yep, half girl, half barbarian. Seriously, it's the best mix, ladies...just FYI, and all), has developed the "Daddy Method," an extremely effective way of putting them to sleep much of the time. We've, therefore, done a mix of the two for naps and nighttime since they were tiny, changing things up when whatever we were doing stopped working because, well, because IT ALWAYS STOPS WORKING AT SOME POINT. These beebs, man. They don't believe in a static existence. How...beebish of them. 

I won't go into the entire evolution of our sleep routine, but will make a confession as to what naps generally look like as of the past few months. They look exactly like the scene evident right this very minute: Me lying on my back with a beeb tucked in each armpit fast asleep, often latched and "slursing," as we've termed that nursing while sleeping thing they do. Before about a month ago, it was me sitting propped up and them lying on various pillows tucked around me in the nursing position known as the "football" hold, facing in on their sides, heads together, bodies extending back along my sides. The lying down is a vast improvement, let me tell you. It took us a while, though, because I was confused as to how my boobs were supposed to face those directions. I mean, they're certainly more saggy at this stage, but umm, hmmmm... Anyway. It was an awesome AHA! moment when we all figured it out. There are lots of those with twins. They seriously make you feel like a freaking superhero. "That's right, bitches! I got my boobies to point two different directions with the help of my tiny humans! Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!!" Or...something like that. 

So, my point with all of this (it's not always guaranteed, but there's usually a some point)? The beebs sleep on or right next to me their entire nap, except on the fairly rare occasion I can sneak away, and that's essentially just when one wakes up before the other and the two of us successfully make it out because the other is still so comatose. Sometimes they do nap in the car, but for the most part this is our setup--hence all the free time to dick around online and, now, blog for your enjoyment (don't worry--I use that term loosely). 

Can I just hear the whispers of admonition from many about our nap setup? Why, yes. Yes, I can. And do I care? Why, no. No, I do not. I'm leaving the explanation and reasoning and science in support for the next post, but suffice it to say that while I don't always love the setup (the things I could get done while they sleep!), the beebs do, in fact, sleep this way. And, ladies and gentlemen... I'LL TAKE IT. 

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